Friday, August 21, 2009
Me vs. The Pigeons
I have a confession to make. Pigeons hate me. I'm not sure why, but these omnipresent birds are always on the hunt for me.
My dislike of pigeons began when, a few years ago, my friend Yvonne told me the story of a pigeon scraping its talons through her hair on the way to her work. She was so upset by this that she immediately turned around and went home to take a shower. Since hearing that story, I have been creeped out by all pigeons I encounter.
Of course, living in any European city, there are an abundance of pigeons everywhere, especially in open squares. Whenever I go out, whether alone or with a group of people, I am always a target of pigeon attacks. Seriously! They fly right for my head, swiftly moving at the last second....sometimes they don't move, and I have to duck and scream!
It's become so much of a joke now that I've just accepted that it's bound to happen. For instance, last week Gabriel and I were sitting at Ijscuypje, enjoying a late evening ice cream cone, when a pigeon flew right at my head, before turning upwards and pooping on my foot. My bare foot in a sandal. I was so incredibly disgusted, and generated lots of good-natured laughs from the Dutchies around me. In my state of horror and shock, all Gabriel could muster was, "meh, ahh well, just wipe it off..." What?!?! I wanted to go home and dip my foot into bleach.
Today, my pigeon-dodging reached an all-time high. Laden with grocery bags from Dirk, I was walking through the empty Heinekenplein (a huge square by my house), when all of a sudden, all 100 pigeons that were snacking on bread decided to get up and fly directly at me all at once. It was so frightening that I literally screamed and turned around to duck and cover! They went careening past me, some brushing against my grocery bags. For a moment I was shell-shocked, standing there with the chills, recounting the horrible sight of 100 evil pigeons flying straight for me.
So, back at home, I had to share this not-so-good aspect of living in Amsterdam with all of you. I'm sure it doesn't happen to everyone. In fact, I know it doesn't, since a pigeon has never, ever lunged at Gabriel when we're together, only at me.
I'm not sure why... maybe it's because of my curly blond hair, reminding them of their cozy gezelligheid nests? Does this happen to anyone else?
By Life Abroad