I have a confession to make. Pigeons hate me. I'm not sure why, but these omnipresent birds are always on the hunt for me.
My dislike of pigeons began when, a few years ago, my friend Yvonne told me the story of a pigeon scraping its talons through her hair on the way to her work. She was so upset by this that she immediately turned around and went home to take a shower. Since hearing that story, I have been creeped out by all pigeons I encounter.
Of course, living in any European city, there are an abundance of pigeons everywhere, especially in open squares. Whenever I go out, whether alone or with a group of people, I am always a target of pigeon attacks. Seriously! They fly right for my head, swiftly moving at the last second....sometimes they don't move, and I have to duck and scream!
Biding their time...It's become so much of a joke now that I've just accepted that it's bound to happen. For instance, last week Gabriel and I were sitting at Ijscuypje, enjoying a late evening ice cream cone, when a pigeon flew right at my head, before turning upwards and pooping on my foot. My bare foot in a sandal. I was so incredibly disgusted, and generated lots of good-natured laughs from the Dutchies around me. In my state of horror and shock, all Gabriel could muster was, "meh, ahh well, just wipe it off..." What?!?! I wanted to go home and dip my foot into bleach.
Today, my pigeon-dodging reached an all-time high. Laden with grocery bags from Dirk, I was walking through the empty Heinekenplein (a huge square by my house), when all of a sudden, all 100 pigeons that were snacking on bread decided to get up and fly directly at me all at once. It was so frightening that I literally screamed and turned around to duck and cover! They went careening past me, some brushing against my grocery bags. For a moment I was shell-shocked, standing there with the chills, recounting the horrible sight of 100 evil pigeons flying straight for me.
So, back at home, I had to share this not-so-good aspect of living in Amsterdam with all of you. I'm sure it doesn't happen to everyone. In fact, I know it doesn't, since a pigeon has never, ever lunged at Gabriel when we're together, only at me.
I'm not sure why... maybe it's because of my curly blond hair, reminding them of their cozy gezelligheid nests? Does this happen to anyone else?
14 comments:
I immediately thought about your blond hair. Were you carrying baguetes in you groceries bag ? Pigeons are indeed getting more and more agressive in big cities. They do not know anymore how to hunt for food, eat trash the whole day or are fed by tourists. So... they get bigger, lazier and nastier. Bah ! Btw... I had a pigeon breast stuffed with pate once in a wedding dinner. Lekker ! "Hunting for dinner at Heineken Plein" (idea for a new post ?)
Oh no, so hilarious but scary too! I hate the lazy pigeons that don't move out of your way and seem to head straight for you no matter what. Creepy!
Have you ever seen Hitchcock's 'The Birds'??! It's similar (but more sinister) than your story!! It completely freaked my dad out!
Saskia x
Oh my word...I think I would have died. Can't blame you for wanting bleach, lol. ;-)
ha ha ha, funny...
But i have seen that happening and i could totally visualise what were you talking about...
Or may be they dont hate you, they love you and so they fly towards you :) just kidding :)
you're not the only one, i also experienced terrible episodes with those pigeons in amsterdam. the worst was valetine's day i think when I went there to have my regular brazilian. When we were buying a rose for this NGO campaign for children of war, i suddenly felt warm liquid streaming down my hear into my face. I thought it was rain for a while but when I started smelling the stink odor, I knew it was those pigeons. I was so embarassed because they were two other people who saw it plus my hair, my top and even my jeans have ugly poo stains on them. Since then, i always stray away pigeon's paths.
The Dutch call them "vliegende ratten" or "flying rats" for a reason.
Heather - I immediately thought of that movie "The Birds" too. Of course, you are too young to know about that movie - but look it up. It's terrifying! This could start a phobia!
I haven't had problems with pigeons yet...I normally like to chase after them for fun.
This made me laugh and feel better about myself. When I lived in San Francisco I was constantly coming home and telling my husband how I was developing a fear of pigeons. I was one of the few people walking down Market Street literally ducking and freaking out often while everyone else was calm, cool, and collected. Why? Because a pigeon was headed straight toward my head! You are definitely not alone. I have also heard other European Pigeon Horror Stories.
Thanks for making me feel normal...
You've been through the worst fear, it can only go up from here.
PS I just found your blog recently and am loving living vicariously through you. Thanks!
PPS I am a brunette, it's not your hair...
Ohhhh, pigeons. I dislike them. There is a dish here called "pigeons", and the first time someone asked me to eat it, I was all like, "Hell no am I eating a Lithuanian pigeon." Turns out, it's not really a pigeon, but what an awful name!
oh my :)
I don't know how to react to this since I love birds and I have two budgies but I agree with you that birds (pigeons) can be scary.
Too funny! I've always said that if birds were smarter, they sure could wreak havoc on this earth. Yes, I've been attacked myself, not by pigeons but other just-as-nasty birds. Just a few weeks ago, hubby and I were in the yard with our wine glasses, getting ready to check our veggie garden when low and behold, some nasty bird decided to take a dump on the back of my neck. I think I totally freaked hubby out with my reaction. I thrust my wine glass into his hands and ordered him to open the door and fast! He looked at me as if I'd lost my mind, reminding me that it was "only" bird poop!
For all the rest of you who are disgusted with Pigeons, I read that Pigeons do not like the smell of WD-40, so this week I am going to experiment and spray it in the bays of the parking garage at work. Maybe you should keep a small carry along can of WD-40 in your purse and use it like Mace. Good luck to all of us finding what might keep them at bay.
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